Bali
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IT’S WEDNESDAY EVENING AS I’M WRITING THIS AND THUNDER AND RAIN ARE ARE FILLING THE SKY
I’m wearing a summer dress to compensate and luckily I’m still able to sit outside because of the roof they build. Robbie just left, a Dutch guy who likes his pasta with mayonaise. I met him yesterday morning, as he suddenly entered the complex when I was writing at the kitchen table. He wanted to meet the owner to talk about a collaboration. He started his apartment counseling business a couple years ago and is always looking for places to rent out. We had a long conversation about Bali, life, work, his marriage, his divorce.. And before we knew hours had passed. Tonight I invited him for a coffee. A good guy, that I noticed immediately. He made me promise if there’s something wrong, I wouldn’t hesitate and call him. I cherish our meeting and it was just what I needed yesterday.
BECAUSE I’VE BEEN STANDING IN MY OWN SUNLIGHT LATELY
The bad flew I experienced last week, kind of took my positive attitude away. By worrying about the outcome of my website for example. I’ve been questioning myself wether or not I would be able to ever attract more readers. Since Instagram and Facebook are the right tools to maintain that, I felt some uncertainties about that. I’ll explain myself here: social media has never been my thing. I’ve always liked my privacy and the thought to be unknown on the internet. In a way, social media is a like fake reality to me.. But I like to look at it as if that doesn’t necessarily has to be a bad thing. It can be this useful tool for several purposes. But I just have to get used to be using those tools daily, I think.
BEING HARD ON YOURSELF BY CONSTANT CRITICAL THOUGHTS NEVER HELPED ANYONE IN A BETTER DIRECTION
I knew I needed to do something about the worrying, otherwise I’d be unhappy in paradise. That was definitely not my plan! So I applied Byron Katie’s questions and that really helped me out. In her darkest hour, Byron Katie – now a spiritual mentor to millions – discovered that life isn’t half as painful as we make it.
“I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.”
—Byron Katie
With the help of four simple questions, she shown people how to stop suffering and start getting real. I’ll explain how:
Question 1: Is it true?
This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought(s) you’ve been thinking are true.
In my case, no. The worrying about myself and the future weren’t true, since those moments haven’t been lived yet.
Question 2: Can you absolutely know it’s true?
This is another opportunity to open your mind, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.
Question 3: How do you react when you believe those thoughts?
With this question, you begin to notice cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought(s), it can lead to fear or panic. What do you feel? How do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought?
For me, I felt a feeling I best could describe as a ‘cloudiness’ and a slumbered fear that overwhelmed my joy and positive attitude.
Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
Imagine yourself in the presence of this situation, without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn’t have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?
Well, I don’t think I have to explain the answer to this question, right?